How did it end up on Earth?
Perhaps it was a very bad idea to study the secret books in the monastery from which I was expelled for my dubious practices. I learned the language of the demons and some spells from the dark folios, I thought they were some kind of riddles. I never believed in superstitions. All that changed in a matter of hours when the new ruler of the demons crashed to Earth through space. He was on fire as he flew through the sky. Had everything happened as I had predicted or conjured? I find it hard to believe that I somehow conjured it, but it almost crashed into my hut, but luckily landed in a haystack. The prophecy says that the dark omen came to Earth to bring the end of the world. In the meantime, it prevented doom! As a result, I became king. As he so kindly put it, we are now equals. He exaggerate, Balladeer is weaker than a god, but stronger than any being on Earth. Full of fire and magic that can consume the world.
Balladeer never did any harm, never planned to. Which is shocking for a demon lord. According to ancient legends, these cruel creatures have brought misery to Earth many times, but a thousand years after their last visit, a very different kind of monster has arrived. Or rather, it fled its world because the demons wanted to kill it. Despite his dark aura and fearsome patron, Crownsword, he has a gentle nature that would make a squirrel more bloodthirsty than he. Yet the sword chose him to king. Even the ancient blade was surprised, but here on Earth it turned out that Balladeer was indeed a great lord, more chivalrous even than the holy knights.
After seeing that the beast was afraid of my cat and that the cat was kind to him, I was even more shocked than when I saw the new lord of the demons lying before me, who was both majestic and ridiculous. The demon asked what kind of creature was sitting him? And who I was. I look like his kind, but somehow different. And where am it?
For the first time, it was good idea to learn the language of the demons from the dark folios, because I understood every word and could answer his questions. I was talking to the omen of doom! But he was nothing like the prophecy had described. He also introduced himself, Balladeer, and added that he was an ultra-pacifist (I had no idea of the meaning of the word at the time) and a poet. His greatest desire is to profess love to a noble lady. This is the part where I decided to swoon. No, I simply couldn't comprehend that the demon lord was a virgin like me. I heard him begging me to take the white monster off of him because he had no idea what it was or what to do with it. Instead I lay down and rested for a few hours. Blessed darkness! I woke up to my cat purring loudly by my ear, and the demon leaning over me, worried that he was very sorry if he had harmed me, and sad because our friendship was short.
Here I really remembered that I had gone mad with the dark science and the prophecy had come to life in my head, but my cat was very real, as was the strange fellow above me! And here I had to act, for the demon was crying and his flaming tears threatened to set me on fire. It is important to be patient, calm and cordial when encountering an oversensitive demon. It's like I managed to keep my cool.
Luckily for both of us and the world, my cat was with me and had his own guardian, the ancient and grumpy Crownsword. Or what am I writing? His patron declared that he had fled his lord to the earth to train him here, for he is indeed the god-killing dark blade that splits the planes at his lord's command. It was then I realised that what I thought was the demon's wing was part of the sword! And the blade was on its back. Balladeer was even more frightened than I was by the sword's adjectives, and declared that he had no plans for such programs now or in the future. The sword replied that if he did not train him, the demons would kill their king for the first time in the history of their race. Which he, as the blade of the ruler, could not allow, even if the elected lord was a feeble-minded idiot more fit to be a fool than a king. Balladeer's fiery tears rained down. Fortunately, it began to rain, and he hissed that something stung his skin. Then I remembered the different material composition of demon and man. The five elements of water, fire, earth or rock, air and magic have different proportions in the beings of each plane. In demons, there is hardly any water, and they don't really wear it. They don't die from it, but they suffer from it. The blade spread its wings and the demon crouched down and fled towards the hut it had entered.
And I will continue from here later, because I hear my children begging Balladeer to tell them about our adventures together. He is able and quite different in telling our story, giving me all the credit, even though without him I would not be here today, my children would not be alive, because the end of the world would have swept away our peaceful world. Balladeer, the impossibly friendly demon lord, saved us, as I saved him."
Well, in 2005, I dreamt that Balladeer finds the long-lost sword and the complications begin. And of course, I soon realised I was watching a delightfully positive adventure story. As now I thought about it, my heart warmed and I teared up with joy. It's sublime to experience something real, a story of friendship, perseverance and love in 'DIY black magic' that is true bromance. How can something feel so fantastically good?
P.S.: Undoubtedly, when I die, I will not see my own life, but that of my heroes. I will see again all that I would have lived for if I had not been born into a collapsing civilisation.
