Making the imagination visible

In January 2002, at the age of 24, my fantasy was ignited by the appearance of my beloved blonde hero in a hilarious, adventurous, crazy dream, from which I awoke to my own laughter. He is clearly my shining heart, the embodiment of my passion for life within my personality. Recalling Merwill, I quickly start to chuckle because he perfectly combines all our human foibles and greatness in one person, while a rather mixed company helps him on his increasingly "dangerous" adventures. For example, the engineering team of lpuk (a proven intelligent life form), which resemble grape, or olive berries according to others, always bail him out, or rather get him into more trouble, as soon as my beloved hero makes a move. (I'm laughing in silence for a minute or two while the scene plays out.) How can I say, I have the best "pleasure drug", my own mind. Which, of course, can push me into the depths of hell if I dwell too much on the depressing reality and the spreading ignorance. I don't owe the strength of my mind to luck! It's a conscious effort to combine quickly and access a lot of data, even in middle age. I have kept my imagination because it helps me to stay alive, to endure the horrors of life, to accept the limitations. My mind is only limited by the natural biological limitations of my brain, which is a living part of me and I can tired it.
I haven't even said a word about the opening image I chose for this post. I dreamt them in November 2021 and they marked the beginning of my second flowering as a creator. These two are the symbolic embodiment of my death and my life, and at the same time the central characters of a fictional story. The female figure is the protagonist, while the male figure is the title character. Mistletoe appeared first, I saw her sin, what she had committed that had torn her life apart and made it impossible for her to return to her own people. Then she was faced with the consequence of a much greater sin that she can no longer escape. It was then that the title character emerged and I saw through the eyes of the protagonist and was shocked by many things. Then the whole story came and I just watched it like in the cinema. 'Imperial Mage' is a dark-toned psychological fantasy with death as its central motif, coupled with the madness of power, guilt, coming to terms with the past and the faint possibility of a new beginning, but all dominated by destiny. The antagonist is one of my most self-serving and therefore one of my most evil characters. He commits a sin that when seen...
As dark and depressing as the story is, it is such a dense extract of human feelings, intentions and the self-sacrifice that finally sparkles out of them, of true human greatness, that I feel an instant catharsis. A human story in capital letters, one of my most mature works. This may sound strange, but as Mistletoe, I cry when she confesses all her pain in three sentences, while as a person, as the author, I applaud with joy that it is simply wonderful! When Mistletoe, despite her terror and the certainty of death, sees the real age of the title character and it awakens pity and fear in her, I stand and stare in the same way. Mistletoe gives the horror a name, naming it Gloom, and in this gesture alone she signals that he is much more than a monster to her. Oh, but how much more! She could not have a child because of the spell cast upon her as a consequence of her sin, her punishment, but realizing the true form of the horror, what it was in the first place, she takes it upon herself to do the impossible despite her terror. Gloom's backstory is tragedy.

"Mistletoe had a dream in which she was the light, the life, all the life of the world, and the imperial mage held her in his arms as death. In her motherly love, Mistletoe was ready with all life of the world to restart his heart, but she heard, as if in reality, Gloom saying gently. 'I want you to live.'
And Mistletoe woke up and was in the arms of the mage, just as she had fallen asleep in the evening, because she, unlike the mage, needed sleep as a living being. She heard Gloom repeat the only sentence he could utter of his own free will, 'I want you to live'. She understood its meaning."

Because I play everyone, or more precisely, every character is created by me, I play with my own emotions and I immerse in myself. And so I am shocked to be confronted with the universal, common human tragedy of all that makes us human.
No, thanks, I don't want a drink, I raise my glass full of my bitter tears and laugh.



P.S.: Since 'Imperial Mage' is a tragedy with a capital "A", I mentioned the hero of my first comedy of my youth as a counterpoint.
It's worth browsing my Twitter account, your jaw will drop at what heroes I have become as a result of my traumas.
Life is not a fairy tale, it's a terrible struggle.

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