I carry the world in the palm of my hand

The five images cover 12 years from 2010 to 2022. The title of this entry refers to the responsibility. I do spend a lot of time in nature and study the world with great care.
I apologise to those who read only in Hungarian, but I will return to publishing entirely in English in 2024, as there are already plenty of mushroom reports on the blog, and it is timely to build international links. I am a green patriot, born and living in the south-eastern part of the Hungarian Great Plain, but this small landscape is also part of the big one. Our treasures, however modest, are worth showing to the world. By editing this blog in English, I am supporting my own language learning and setting an example. I write my novels in Hungarian and later translate them into English. Joseph Conrad is one of my role model. The key to our survival is to recognise our uniqueness in the mirror of the world, but at the same time this recognition helps us to connect to the mainstream of the world. Isolation is a death trap.

All that I absorbed in my mind in my native land, I will show it to the world before I die. I think I have an unique vision of the world, which is both brutally sombre and airily light. The combination of extremes is pretty well done in my person. It gives me a dynamism or passion to me that used to be quite normal in Hungary, but has somehow disappeared over the decades. I don't care about that, as a middle-aged woman with a great sense of responsibility, I am already fully aware of my scope and within that scope I will do everything within my principles to preserve life on earth. With this in mind, I will shape my life in the new year. I let go of a lot to focus on my priorities. I have three plus one plans for 2024. The first is not only a plan, but also a serious task. As a teenager, when I was still learning about mushrooms, I made a half-joking promise to the market mushroom inspector that I would be his successor. Well, my time has come. Having worked in this particular profession for six years at another market, I know exactly what I have undertaken.

It is dizzying to think that thirty years have passed between that promise and now. Three decades is a significant part of my life so far, I can see the years ticking by. Such events are milestones and truly moving. I can clearly see and feel that I have crossed new line. It is not age that makes us adults, but the experience and embrace of responsibility. Of course, for the rest of my life I will still have the traumatised sobbing child inside me, but she enjoys having an adult around and protect her like a knight armor. I am undoubtedly on a very special journey in its unique smallness. And I sense the movement of the world through nature, and I love gazing at the stars, looking out at the Milky Way. How "good" it is for me that I persevered in the face of all the difficulties and that at the best of times, five people came to my aid. I think of them with gratitude, but what I think of the others I will now keep to myself for the sake of my quiet working life. I have fought my battles, and all that remains is to conclude my business, that is, to hand over my inheritance. So my second big task is to write one of my novels in full and develop the others to a level where they can be written by an AI in the event of my death. Real human life is no longer about heroes, even if I see myself as a hero, I am aware of the reality, but the child in me is eager for the triumph of good and the promise of all good things coming to good ends. What a beautiful lie, but I give it to myself. And I also owe a debt of gratitude to the mushrooms who, as natural elements, have in reality come to my rescue. Studying mushrooms is one of the better decisions of my life.

I owe a debt to mushrooms and I will continue the education.In 2024, I have named my green project '101 fungi' and I have already posted an article in Hungarian on the blog. Basically, I hope to be joined on the mushroom trail by fellow mushroom hunters who are curious about mushrooms and want to learn about nature. I would love to experience camaraderie, which in Hungary is more impossible than riding a dragon. Anyway, I'm quite cheerful, because I've really been through a lot in my life. I am not the least bit alarmed by such difficulties, and I laugh at the absurdities of my home country. I let them go, because they do not support me in my work. In 2024, there will be no more public affairs articles on the blog, but I will collect, edit and publish them separately, because I owe it to society. I will gradually stop using social apps because there will be plenty of social interaction in the marketplace, which, as an introvert, will be enough for me. As I turn forty-six in February, I've had time to get to know myself and explore my limits. I know what my optimum is. I'm not going to run after anyone and I'm not going to loudly shout that I've drunk from the fountain of wisdom, because I haven't, but what I do know, I'm happy to pass on in my own quiet way.

One part of creating a fantasy world is the map. Well, I solved it very simply, I saw a map of one of my worlds in a worn patch. My infinite imagination is willing to help me with little things too. Why did I put this picture last? Because in addition to the three main projects (I have presented them in order of importance), there is an extra, a fourth, the storytelling workshop. The linked article is in Hungarian and English, so my readers at home and abroad can learn about my secret love project. This is a bigger task than it first seems, because it involves a long-term plan. If I teach young people to use one of our most useful tools, they will surely be empowered to spot harmful manipulation and to defy it by writing their own story, becoming the shapers of their own lives and not just drifting at the will of others.
Hungary and the world will be irretrievably lost if we do not regain as much of our independence as possible at the individual level. Despite its importance, this fourth project is not up to me. As I have written above, I will not run after anyone and I will not shout to promote myself. My market duties and novel writing plus training will already demand considerable energy from me.
Otherwise, I'm happy if others are active in parallel with me. As closed and strangely sad as I am, I have a kind heart that rejoices to see bubbling activity and the happiness and fulfillment of others.