Pushing things a little in the right direction

At the age of 45, I am fully aware of my mortality and I know that death is the destruction of my being. I don't believe in any god, afterlife or reincarnation because as a fantasy writer I recognise the self-delusions of wishful thinking and as a self-analyst I know exactly that I am a random assemblage of matter and that there is no ethereal miasma that will fly away from my body after my heart has beaten its last beat and my lungs have collapsed. As a thinking person, I recognised the limitations of my existence and gave myself a small purpose in life. To push things a little bit in the right direction, to keep a little bit of life on earth, to pass on a little bit of power to those who have heard my words and understood them. That is all I have undertaken. One day I will die, but on my deathbed, if there is one and it is not a quick death, the tangible results of my tiny efforts will comfort me and ease the natural sense of loss, as we can all cry most of all for ourselves. (I will not mention the pain of parenthood, because the loss of a child is a double blow.) Yes, seeing that my actions have had an impact goes beyond me and gives meaning to my existence. Never underestimate the consequences of your small actions, because many things don't come back, but you never know who you've put a smile on, given a moment of insight to, or annoyed, but in this case you've hit on a point that needs to be addressed. That's what I was thinking about yesterday as I was walking, what I have achieved so far and what positive impact I can have on the world for the rest of my life. For me, discovering nature and mushrooms has given me a lot of joy and experience. I have moments of pure and innocent joy in my memory. Life flashes before my eyes, LIFE with a capital letter. Life on earth is the only miracle I can truly experience, and that is why I hold the fruiting bodies of my favourite mushrooms in my hands with reverence, because they represent that for me. I don't believe in anything, but I respect life and know it is worth preserving. That is my mission.

P.S.: Amanita spp. are in the photos. My photos from last autumn. On July 14, I'll be giving another online lecture, I'll be presenting Amanita spp. and Cantharellus/Craterellus spp.

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